I didn’t know I was bisexual until my early twenties, but I did always know that there was something different about me. I remember being called a lesbian by another student at secondary school because she caught me sketching cute women in my notebooks during class – a memory that remains crystal clear in my mind to this day. It was a traumatic moment for me because – at that point in my life, when I was already being horrendously bullied – being labelled queer simply felt like I was getting yet another target painted on my back.
I only realised I might not be straight when I learned about bisexuality. I knew I was attracted to men, but I’d never toyed with the notion I could be also attracted to women until I began meeting queer people who were out. Being around queer people gave me the courage and the clarification I needed to put all the puzzle pieces together and accept I was bisexual.
I’ve come out since then, openly dating as someone who is attracted to people of all genders, but it hasn’t exactly been plain sailing. Accepting my bisexuality has undoutedly been a positive aspect of my life, but it’s also led to plenty of moments of anxiety and self-doubt. What if I’m not actually bisexual? What if I’ve misunderstood the feelings and thoughts I’ve had?
But in Arcade Spirits: The New Challengers, a recent visual novel by Fiction Factory Games, I’m allowed to be bisexual without any of these thoughts taking root – it’s provided me with a safe haven in which I can explore my sexuality without doubts from the outside or inside world. Even though its multitude of wonderfully written characters and its beautifully drawn world are not real, the self-insert nature of The New Challengers makes it the perfect environment for me to express myself. I can make my character look somewhat like myself, choose the story decisions I align with, and pursue romance with the characters I want to, all without fear of what other people might think or if I’m doing this whole queer thing properly.